I am a trans* heterosexual male. I feel somewhere between "man" and "woman" in terms of what these mean in white western culture and, at a deeper subconscious level, what they meant to me as a boy growing up. In different ways I rejected both masculinity and femininity as a child. Which means I pretty much rejected my body below my neck and lived in my head. It has been chiefly through the bodily form and manner of women that I have begun to accept as "me" the way I feel in the core of my body. More difficult has been allowing myself to express my core feelings in my own "manner", the way I am and move in my own body. Looking at women can be like looking in a mirror at how I feel within. It is a feeling of profound recognition, as if their outward form and my inner feelings are one piece of music played on two different instruments. However I don't want to change my body. My journey, I think, is more one of integration, learning to express my inner core in the way I live and move and relate to others in this male body. This blog is part of my journey. Neither the images nor comments are mine. I connect with these images in the core of my body not in my head. Words don't come into it.